The Best Friend
You are in love with her. It is just like every girly teen movie you have been forced to watch: the long suffering best guy friend who can do nothing as the girl rambles on about her latest crush but sigh. And wish she could see the way you feel; sometimes you think there is no way she can not see it, the love for her that must be printed on your face. There always as securely as your nose. But she never sees it.
Sometimes, when you are feeling particularly down, you think that she does see it, but is just to nice to say anything because she doesn't like you back. And sometimes when you're really down, you think she is as digusted at you for it as it is possible to be. But in that case, why does she still turn to you, spend time with you, ask your opinion without worrying what you might say? You're her friend: you know that as surely as anything. As surely as you know you love her.
You play it through you head, sometimes, you confessing your love. Every cliché and hackneyed scene has been run through your head, and her reply changes as often as your mood. And you're never sure which response is one you'd actually get. You're not sure you want to know.
But you want her to know. You want her to know how beautiful she is, and your failure to understand how anyone could not fall head over heels for her, as you have. You want her to know these things, but you don't want to scare her. You want her to love you back. But you don't want to lose her friendship because of a stupid, selfish dream in which you could ever be good enough for her.
Sometimes you wonder if maybe she feels exactly the same way that you do. And it is a nice sort of wonder, a wishing that pulls at you, that you almost wish could be so. Almost. But you don't want her to have ever felt as miserable as you have. You don't want to make her miserable. Not that you're miserable, oh no, it's just that... you love her. And you don't know if she loves you the way you'd like, or if it would be worth it to find out.
Still, you are her friend and that is something. Sometimes it is everything. But more often than not, you want something more.